Stephen King Approves of This Message.

I was out for dinner last night at a sub-par restaurant on the UWS when I noticed something unsettling on the wine menu. The only Pinot Noir that you could order by the glass was called the Pennywise. This concerned me greatly, because, HELLO, Pennywise is the name of the clown from It, and I certainly didn’t need HIM sitting next to me while I ate my Penne Rigate. I actually spent time thinking to myself, “Okay – so if I order the Pennywise, I have to say it once, and then the waitress might repeat me, which would make it twice, and then what if the bus boy says Pennywise a third time when he brings the glass over? For the love of GOD, what then?”

Then I remembered that you have to use a slingshot to fell the maniacal/otherworldly clown in question (retrospectively, that seems like a major plot hole, but whatever). A great thing about NYC is that you can buy anything you want here at any time, including slingshots – so I ordered the Pennywise.

Daily Aggravation 34: Red Wine Mouth

You know when you drink red wine and you’re having a great time and you feel like hot shit? I love that feeling. What I don’t love is going to the bathroom and realizing that my teeth are purple and I look like something out of the “Thriller” video…and then having to go back to the party.