Daily Aggravation 32: When Girls Say They “Do Weed”

If you tell me that you ‘do weed,’ then you are clearly demonstrating that you’re one of those annoying bitches who takes two hits and then freaks out and starts screaming about how you’re slipping into another dimension and you’re never going to be able to make it back. If only that were true, sister – if only that were true.

Daily Aggravation 10: People who are spiritual but not religious

I’m pretty sure ‘spiritual but not religious’ means ‘I smoke weed, I’ve read Siddhartha twice and I’m too slutty to be down with God.’ I prefer the lesser-used ‘religious but not spiritual,’ which means ‘I get what a crock of shit organized religion is but have too much Catholic/Jewish guilt to let it go.’