Human Ken Determined to be Fiercer Than Human Barbie

The real, human versions of Barbie and Ken met each other for the first time the other day, and The Daily Mail wrote an article about how much they each hated the way the other one looked. See the news story here.

Here’s the problem, though: Human Ken isn’t Human Ken as much as he is a clone of Janice Dickinson. Go look at the photo of him in the link above and then come back and click on this one.¬†Am I wrong? They have the same face, for crying out loud.

It would’ve saved this guy an awful lot of time if he’d just taken a photograph of Janice Dickinson throwing shade to his plastic surgeon and said, “Give me that face, but make it even FIERCER.”

The Horror of Meth: Before & After Photos from the Daily Mail

The Horror of Meth: Before & After Photos from the Daily Mail

OH, SWEET CHRIST ON A CRACKER. Click on the link above this post, and you, too, can be freaked the fuck out by the absolutely horrific impact that meth has on a person’s physical appearance over time.

Somehow, the poster didn’t realize that the girl in the first photo has clearly been in a terrible fire in addition to being a meth addict. After all, it may be a nasty drug, but meth doesn’t make your face melt off like that/turn you into Sloth from “The Goonies” – unless your lab exploded while you were taking care of business, which is what I’d bet money happened to this poor lass. Her hair still looks good, though.

Moving swiftly along, I’d like you to scroll down and have a look at the second woman who is profiled. This unfortunate soul’s meth use somehow transformed her into a very bruised-looking coyote/human hybrid (a cuman). Now, let’s be honest – she was no Elle Macpherson to begin with, but DAMN, what a difference a few years of meth addiction makes. I literally screamed when I saw her photos.

The last photo set that I found profoundly disturbing is the one of of the guy who started out looking like he could have been in an Abercrombie ad. His meth addiction turned him into someone who looks like he died three months ago and is currently trying to break in through your window to eat your brains. Also, he seems to only have one little buck tooth left. It’s an unfortunate thing to lose all of your teeth except for one front tooth…but it’s probably more unfortunate to have the awful monkey of meth addiction on your back for the rest of your life.