This guy absolutely kills it every time. His skills on that piece of equipment are nothing short of astounding – now all we need to do is get rid of the basket-weaved fedora and it’s STRAIGHT TO THE TOP, BABY, STRAIGHT TO THE TOP!
By far the best and most disorienting music video of recent memory (is that bread he just flung around his neck at 0:38?), Ssion’s “My Love Grows in the Dark” pays homage to the most DIVINE club tropes of the late ’80s and ’90s – and it’s a super catchy song, too. Check it out!
Something about this track’s haunting bird call combined with Justin Bieber’s [actually really fantastic] falsetto performance on it makes me want to record a Kreayshawn-style video in which I lip-synch “Boyfriend” on top of a roof while wearing a purple sequined fitted. I imagine this fits in nicely with Justin Bieber’s evil plan to create an army of his very own clones, starting with the lesbians (http://lesbianswholooklikejustinbieber.tumblr.com/).
For the approval of the Midnight Society, I now submit to you: The Story of the Evil Organ. A masterpiece, if I do say so myself.
Yesterday at dinner, one of my best friends from college, Kelly, who is hilarious and wonderful, told me that she recently went to her first strip club. It was while she was in Boston for her cousin’s 22nd birthday, and she said the experience was a weird one – not because the strippers were unattractive (in fact, they were apparently quite good looking), but because they were dancing to the music of two of no one’s favorite bands: Nickelback and Staind.
She wasn’t kidding. The strippers in this strip club in Boston were actually gyrating, giving lapdances and removing clothing to this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2NGe9mLAEc. Can you imagine? Who thought that was a good idea? That is the most depressing shit I have ever heard of in my life.
I can imagine a conversation between the owner of that strip club and one of his dancers: “Ok, Candy – when Frankie puts on Train’s classic, ‘Drops of Jupiter,’ that’s your cue to rip your shirt off and slide down the pole upside down. Make it sexy.” How could that soundtrack be anything but a total bummer for every person in there? I could be wrong, but I’m pretty sure that the goal of owning a strip club isn’t to make your customers burst into tears or feel like they need to go home and call their exes/bastard children/priests.
Kelly’s story got me thinking of other songs that should never be played in a strip club. Here’s a short list of them.
1. “What Would You Do,” by City High.
2. “Dance With My Father,” by Luther Vandross.
3. “Daughters,” by John Mayer.
4. “Cat’s Cradle,” by Cat Stevens (or Harry Chapin, take your pick).
5. “When You Believe,” by Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston.
6. “Pie Jesu,” (esp. this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJidPdlBKm8).
Anyone else have any suggestions? Let’s hear them – but not while someone is stripping.