They WANT your BOD.

I just learned of an upcoming Blood Drive that’s being sponsored by the Bodies Exhibit. What’s next, voluntary organ harvesting? A Skin Drive for your silky, silky flesh? It reminds me of that old children’s tale from the sea: “First comes blood, then comes tissue, then comes the time you wake up with no kidney in a bathtub full of ice.”

On Push Cart Etiquette:

Excuse me, ma’am, but do you really need that crazy person push cart when the only thing in it is one sad little sandwich? Oh, wait – you’re talking animatedly to a woman at the bus stop who is staring at you in bewilderment because she doesn’t speak English and you’re not picking up on her mounting panic. Now your push cart seems appropriate. Carry on!