5 Hour Energy, or how I was poisoned by a stranger

This morning, I was gifted with a free sample of 5 Hour Energy by some lady on the street. As I opened the bottle, I heard my mother’s voice in my head saying, “Now how do you know that the girl didn’t put something in the bottles? There could be poison in them, Caroline. Poison! And didn’t I teach you not to accept food from strangers like 23 years ago?” I drank it anyway.

First of all, 5 Hour Energy tastes like gutter water and rotten strawberries. It burns going down and it made me gag thrice. Secondly, it didn’t do a damn thing for my fatigue. Thirdly, I now feel vaguely unwell and am concerned that there WAS, actually, something toxic and poisonous in the bottle and I only have a couple of hours left on this mortal earth. This means two things: 1) 5 Hour Energy is a pointless scam and 2) I’m officially turning into my mother.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s